I have always loved to write, and finding an outlet for my writing has brought unmeasurable joy to my life. From diary entries to having my thoughts published in the Portland Press Herald*, I continue to evolve as a writer every day.
*posts that are titled with “Meetinghouse” have been published in the Portland Press Herald in a monthly column. The titles click through to the PPH website.
7 activities that are better when you put your phone down
1. Going out to eat. This one bothers me the most, and not just because I have friends who don’t ever put their phones down, but because once they start to use their phone, I find myself using mine. When you’re at a table with someone other than yourself, you should have your phone down. If you have to take a second to Instagram your meal, so be it, but then the phone should go away. Phones are hard to resist, so if you find yourself to be too tempted, shut it off! Nothing is so important that it can’t wait an hour.
2. Spending time with friends. I’m definitely guilty of this, but I’m trying to do better. When you’re with your friends, it means either you or they made plans to be together. These plans probably weren’t made for you to sit around scrolling through Twitter all night. My best friend calls me out on this sometimes, and then I just feel embarrassed! If you’re with someone who you care about, your full attention should be on them, not the latest post on Instagram.
3. Watching a movie. This happened to me just last week. I was lying in bed watching a movie, and all of a sudden I realized I had missed probably twenty minutes of it because I was on my phone! It wasn’t as bad as it could have been because I wasn’t watching the movie with anyone else, but it was still an “oops” moment. When I’m home, my mom and dad don’t allow phones during family movie night, and that’s smart of them, because you really do miss a lot!
4. Learning. Some of you are probably going to want to argue with me on this one, and sometimes I want to argue myself. There’s no denying that sometimes class is super boring and all you want to do is Snapchat your best friend about how much you hate the lecture you’re listening to. Resist! Sometimes I’ll text my dad in class, or I’ll Snapchat a friend or two, but I try my best to stay off of my phone, because I’m paying a lot of money to go to class, so I want to have my full attention on what’s being taught.
5. Reading a book. Whenever I’m reading, I have my phone down. I remember when I was younger and phoneless, and I could constantly get lost in books because I had no other distractions. It’s hard to stay lost in a book when I hear my phone vibrate, so I just put it on silent.
6. Family time. We’re in college; we barely see our family as it is. We all need to learn to put our phones down when we’re around them. I get it, your parents are “so annoying” and your little sister is driving you up the wall. Get over it. One day we’re all going to realize how much family truly means to us, and we’re going to wish we had so much more time with them.
7. Driving. I’ll try not to get all PSA on you. Please put your phone down. Not only is it completely dangerous to text and drive, but you also miss things like street signs, scenery, and conversations with your friends in the car. I can promise you that you won’t be too happy when you run a stop sign that you were supposed to turn right at, AND get hit by an oncoming car. There is seriously nothing you can text that is more important than the lives of you and whoever is in your car. And I know you’ve heard this a million times, but if it IS that important, just pull over!
19 things in 19 years
During the past 19 years of my life, I've learned many things. Here are 19 things that I try to remind myself every day.
1. Accept your mistakes. People say you learn from your mistakes. It’s true. Accept them, learn from them, and move on. Everyone makes them; it’s really not a big deal.
2. You’re not in love with every person you have feelings for. You aren’t. You don’t have to be, and you shouldn’t be. If you let yourself fall in love with every single person who you may have feelings for, you probably won’t really know when you’re in love.
3. It’s okay to not be friends with everyone. Some people are not going to want to be your friends. And you’re not going to want to have some people as friends. That is okay.
4. You don’t know what others are going through, so be nice to everyone. Maybe someone got a speeding ticket on the way to work, or your waitress broke up with her boyfriend last night. If you’re nice to everyone, you have a chance at making his or her day that much better.
5. Share your opinions with others. If you feel passionately about something, say so! It’s important to express your opinions and stand by what you say.
6. But remember that your opinions don’t make you a better person than someone else. Learn to accept your differences, and learn from others. Just because someone feels passionately about something that you are completely against doesn’t mean that they are an awful person, or that you can’t be friends.
7. Drunken nights are not the “best nights of your life”. Please remember this. The best nights of your life are the ones you remember. Sometimes, the best nights of your life are the ones where you do something simple and relaxing with the people who matter most to you.
8. Always take advantage of new opportunities. I cannot stress this enough. Even if you’re unsure of how it will work out, take the opportunity. If it’s something small, remember that it could lead to bigger things. Honestly, what do you have to lose? Nothing.
9. We’re too young to take life so seriously. Grades, friendships, careers, and our love lives. We take so many things seriously. Why? I don’t really know. Your dream job isn’t going to turn you down because you got a C in a class. They’re just not. Remember that you don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so loosen up, enjoy what life throws at you, and stop taking everything so seriously.
10. It’s okay to fail. In fact, you should fail. How will you know you’ve truly succeeded unless you fail? I’m not saying make no effort, but don’t hate yourself when you really can’t come up with any awesome ideas for a project. It will come to you, or it won’t, but all you have to know is that it’s not a big deal.
11. Challenge yourself in school. I’m so sick of hearing students asking who the easiest teacher is for a subject, especially in their major. You’re paying thousands of dollars, why don’t you want to challenge yourself and learn? Ask questions in class. Even if it’s a “stupid question” (which no question is), ask it. Our professors have years of wisdom, and you could ask a question that could lead into a totally different conversation.
12. Peer pressure is real, but you can shut it down. Have another drink. Try this drug. Go to this party. These are some pretty extreme examples, but they’re very real. Even if it’s your best friend, know that you can say "no".
13. Believe in your dreams. It’s incredible to think that we have an opportunity to make these dreams come true, so please believe in yourself. Don’t ever think that your dream is too big, because it isn’t. You can do absolutely anything that you want to do.
14. Make a difference. In someone’s day, in someone’s life, or just in general- making a difference is so valuable. You can do anything, big or small, and even though you may not get direct thanks, know that you truly have made a difference.
15. Remember to thank your parents. Your parents are the most important people in your life. They love you always, regardless of how you’re acting, how you treat them (although you should treat them like kings and queens), and through every phase you have.
16. If you love somebody, just go ahead and tell them. Life is just too dang short not to tell people how you really feel. If you love somebody, tell them. If you think they’re beautiful, tell them. If you can’t live without them, tell them. Don’t be afraid of rejection, just express your true feelings and trust that you’ll feel better knowing that they know how you really feel.
17. Let yourself be lazy, sometimes. It’s okay to occasionally sleep on the couch all day. Take a nap- you deserve it. But know when to get out of bed and do things.
18. Get your feelings out. Buy a journal and write your feelings down. Write whatever you’re thinking about, whether it’s happy, sad, good, bad, or whatever other feeling you have. Show someone, or don’t. Burn it, rip it to shreds, or keep it in a box in your closet. Regardless, know that those things and feelings are now out of you.
19. Know that some things may not end up okay. In a perfect world, everything would be okay. Exes would be friends, no one would lose their job, and we could all afford to pay rent every month. In a real world, this isn’t always the case. Remember that it’s okay that things aren’t okay.
A lady should...
A lady should never send nudes: Seriously girls, stop. First of all, why do you want a boy to see your body through grainy iPhone pictures? That’s not sexy at all. Second of all, boys aren’t stupid,“I’m only sending it through a two-second Snapchat". Okay, well, screenshots are a thing. Also, I’ve heard of some guys who have a camera ready to take a picture of the screen of their phone when they get a picture on Snapchat. So please, for the love of God, stop sending nude pictures! If you want a boy to see your body, it should be special, not some two-second grainy picture that you spent forever trying to take so it could be perfect and “sexy”.
A lady should wear something other than sweatpants to class: I’ll admit, I occasionally wear my yoga pants to my 8 am class. In high school, my mom would never let me wear sweatpants to school. It was okay to wear them to a theme day for a sports team that I was on, but other than that, no. Yes, there are currently some sweatpants that have a better fit and are meant to be worn as part of a styled outfit. In this case, I’m not talking about those kinds of sweatpants. I’m talking about your grungy sweatpants, your boyfriend’s sweatpants, or your two-sizes-too-big sweatpants. These just aren’t appropriate in a setting like class, especially at SCAD where we’re being taught by professionals from our industries.
A lady should send thank you notes: I cannot stress this enough. Ever since I could write, my parents would have me write thank you notes for every gift I received and every event or career orientated thing I attended. This includes interviews, job shadows, internships, gifts, extended-visits at friends or families homes and many other reasons. It doesn’t have to be a letter, just a few quick, sincere sentences. Handwritten is normally best, but if it’s for an interview or something that is an on-going process, e-mail is fine.
A lady should never post super personal situations on social media: There’s a difference between posting a sassy Taylor Swift or Beyoncé lyric versus straight up calling out your ex. Some things should be left off of social media. No one needs to know about your latest run-in with the law, details about how your boyfriend cheated on you, how you got fired from your job or how you lost two pounds last week. These details can absolutely be texted immediately to your bestie, but it’s best to keep them off social media where family members, your church community, professors, or anyone else who would read your post and say “TMI” can see them.
A lady should respect her elders: Professors, parents, parents of your friends, community members, your waitress, etc. These people are older and wiser than you, and probably have a lot of good advice for your future. They won’t want to share this advice if you’re constantly rude or snappy. Don’t take them or their wisdom for granted, one day you’ll wish you had more time with them.
A lady should hold the door for others: Forget about that old rule that a man should always hold the door. Yes he should, but so should a lady. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a boy, a girl, a young child, an elderly woman, your boss or someone you’ve never met--just hold the door. It’s such a simple but meaningful thing you can do for someone else during their busy day.
A lady should put her phone down at dinner: There’s nothing worse than being at dinner and trying to have a conversation with someone who has their nose in their phone. It’s embarrassing that we can’t hold conversations anymore. What’s even more embarrassing is when your friend can’t wait one hour or less to check social media. Here’s a fact that we seem to forget: those posts will still be there after dinner.
A lady should be self-confident: I've learned that boys are attracted to girls who are confident. There’s a difference between being confident and cocky---you don’t need to parade around like you’re the best and everything you do is perfect. At the same time, keep in mind that you truly are incredible, talented, kind and beautiful. And ladies, please stop saying, “I look so ugly today”. You don’t look ugly, I promise. You’re beautiful and you should think that you’re beautiful. Stop picking out which parts of your body you don’t like. I once heard a girl told me she doesn’t like her knees. Really? Cause I love my knees, I’d have an awfully hard time walking, sitting on the ground, playing golf, dancing or doing yoga without them. Love your body, and love yourself.
A lady should stop fearing the single life: Sure, I fear it sometimes. It’s nice to have someone to always talk to, someone who will always tell you that you look beautiful, or that you’re wonderful. But as I was saying, you have to love yourself. If you don’t believe that you’re beautiful or wonderful, how are you going to function if a guy suddenly decides he doesn’t want to be the one to tell you those things anymore? Sometimes it's hard to be single, but it’s fun too. You can go out with your girlfriends and talk to any guy you want, even if it’s just friendly flirting. We’re in college, and most of us are under 21. We’re so young and there’s so much more time left in our lives, so why are we so caught up in constantly having a relationship? Be patient, learn to love yourself and embrace the single life.
A lady should know when to let go of a toxic friendship: I know far too many girls who hold onto a friendship for way too long. Friendships run their course. It’s definitely harder to let go these days because of social media and texting. You’re worried what the girl might say about you, but if you don’t feel like you’re being treated how you should be treated, let go! You can’t live life with a million friends and it’s actually better not to. If you have a few close friends, they will end up being much more valuable than multiple half-assed friendships. It’s okay to not want to be friends with someone who you’ve been friends with for a day, a week, a year or even longer. People change all the time, and if you feel as if you and a friend have fallen off of the friendship path, don’t be afraid to walk away.
Want to give back? There's an app for that
December rolls around and all anyone can think about is donating and volunteering. Christmas puts poverty into perspective. All throughout the month, people spend time buying “Adopt-A-Child” gifts, preparing dinners for those who cannot provide for themselves, and volunteering at food banks. It seems like once Christmas is over, people resume to obsessing over their new gifts and think that they’ve done enough volunteering for the year. That’s where they’re wrong, volunteering and donating to those less fortunate shouldn’t only be done while wearing Santa hats. Here are some ways you can put your new iPhone to good use, and feel good all year long.
Donate a Photo: If you post on Instagram, this app is for you. Every time you post a photo, take a minute to upload your photo to the app Donate a Photo. The photo can be anything you want, anywhere from selfies to sunset photos. Johnson & Johnson will donate $1 once a day to the charity of your choice, meaning if you upload a picture every day, Johnson & Johnson will donate $365 a year to your charity---it’s that simple!
Volunteer Match: While in college, it’s sometimes hard to know what’s going on in the community around you. There are 100,000 volunteer organizations linked with this app, so you’re bound to find something you want to take part in. All you have to do is enter your location, and you’ll get a list of all of the volunteer opportunities in your area. We can always help out a little bit more, and with this app, you’ll never again be able to use the excuse “I’d love to volunteer, I just don’t know where to start”.
Feedie: Here’s one for anyone who posts every single thing they put in their mouths on Instagram. All you have to do is go to a restaurant that participates in the cause (listed on the app), take a picture of your food and post it to social media. You can even add filters---just like Instagram. The restaurant will then make a donation to the Lunchbox Fund, which is a non-profit organization that provides daily meals to schoolchildren in South Africa. Enjoy your meal knowing you’ve helped a child enjoy theirs.
One Today: This app showcases different nonprofits every day, and encourages you to make a small $1 donation. You’re probably thinking, how can $1 help? One Today will explain exactly how your $1 will be put to use. You’ll be surprised to learn how far your $1 will go.
Charity Miles: This is kind of like being a sponsored athlete, but the difference is that the money your sponsors pay you goes to a cause that’s important to you. There are a bunch of different causes on the app, so you’re guaranteed to find one that you’re passionate about. Bikers earn 10 cents per mile, and runners or walkers earn 25 cents. Just turn the app on when you start to exercise, and at the end you can share your accomplishment on social media to encourage friends to exercise for a cause.
Instead: This app encourages you to make small donations that make a huge impact. Rather than downing your third Frappuccino of the day, you can donate $3 or $5. The app will send you motivational messages, conveying messages like drinking water instead of a different beverage will save enough money to provide somebody clean water for a year. So as you’re standing in the long ling at Starbucks for the fifth time this week, ask yourself if you really need a Latte as much as someone needs water for an entire year.
Pay it Forward: Whether it’s paying for the person behind you, or helping someone carry groceries to their car, there are countless ways to pay it forward. Not only will it put a smile on their face, but also on yours. This app will suggest random deeds that you can partake in, such as giving up your seat or giving someone a compliment. People say it's the little things that count, and this app proves their point.
Budge: This app lets you challenge your friends to games while simultaneously earning money for charity. If you challenge your friend to a game and they lose, they make a small donation to a charity of their choice. Friendly competition never hurt anyone, and with the Budge Challenge, it actually helps!
5 new ways to utilize Pinterest
With Pinterest, girls have been able to plan out their dream closet, dream recipe book, even their dream wedding. It’s so easy to get caught up in the cushiness that is Pinterest, and spend hours pinning engagement rings and designer handbags, but then your boards just sit there for you to drool over. Did you ever wonder how you could put these boards to good use? You’re probably struggling because your Pinterest isn’t organized well enough to cater your wants and needs. If this is a problem you feel you may have, then it’s definitely time to start branching out and using Pinterest in different ways.
Get Inspired: We’re artists, and we all get creative brain cramps. This is a board where anything goes. If it’s just a color swatch that you really like, pin it. If you find an awesome pattern on a dress, pin it. This is your digital look-book, and each piece you add to it will help you get out of the next creative block that you’re stuck in.
Splurge: If you’re thinking about investing in an expensive piece, such as a pair of designer flats, pin a photo of them to your splurge board and set it as the cover photo. Search Pinterest for all of the outfits that you could wear your new flats with, and pin them to the board. If you can come up with at least ten outfits that you know you can find in your closet, then you should definitely think about splurging!
Five Years From Now: Who on earth is going to remember when they’re 70 what they said they’d do when they were 20? Update the classic Bucket List with a “Five Years From Now” list. There’s no need to wait until you’re retired to do the things you love. Even if it’s small things like watching the sunrise from the top of a mountain or going on a road trip with your best friend, pin it to your board and make sure you get back to it later.
Think of it as a checklist; when you complete something on your board, delete it! You’ll feel so awesome in five years when the whole board is cleared and in its place are tons of fun pictures from your adventures.
Friday Night In: Not every Friday night has to be spent out at parties. In fact, some of the best nights are the ones you spend in with your closest friends. There’s so many things on Pinterest that can be added to this board, such as DIY nail art and delicious buffalo chicken dip recipes. Add things you think would be fun at a girls night in, and when your friends say, “I’m so bored. What should we do tonight?” you’ll be one click away from the sleepover that you’ve been planning for weeks.
Spring Break Dreams: Spring break is expensive and stressful to plan. Where to stay? How to get there? Where are we even going?! Use this board as a travel planner for your spring break. When you think of something that could be fun to do, pin it. If you find a hotel that’s offering deals, put in on your board. Think of this board as an easy way to share all of your ideas with your friends. All you have to do is send them the link, and you’ll be on your way to the spring break of your dreams!